Small Ways Mothers Help Raise Strong, Confident Daughters. Watch American Pastoral Online Ibtimes. I walked into my stepdaughter’s sorority house to a silent room of a dozen girls. No one was talking.

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· Senior portrait, 1981 I was all about matching sweaters and keeping my nose out of trouble! I had it coming. While I was, for the most part, an easy kid.

They were all immersed in a “liking challenge,” feverously tapping away at their cell phones to win this week’s award of most relevant. That same week, I was privy to a conversation between three middle school girls discussing the protocol for Instagram likes and “rules for replying.” They openly acknowledged the pressure to participate, or face exclusion. After countless examples such as these, I asked myself, when does it end? When do girls stop hanging their self- worth on the opinions of others? Before answering that question, I had to ask another: When does it begin? After three years of researching women’s history for my new book Ocean’s Fire, I have come to view the social media quagmire that preys on the primal human need to belong as an opportunity.

The heightened speed and stress of social media shines a giant spotlight on the shadow that has lived inside of women, individually and collectively, for generations. We have been groomed to be “less than,” and the strong compulsion to engage in online popularity contests presses the fear button within.

We are at a critical time in history. Women are ready to heal the wounds from millennia of suppression. We are also being called to arm our daughters with the tools they need to shield themselves from the assault on their values by a culture convinced its opinions reign supreme.

Going back to that question, when does it begin? It begins early and it begins with us. Here’s how we can all do our part to raise, strong confident daughters.

You are your daughter’s biggest ally and her biggest influence. You may not believe it with the way things look in our world today, but she is watching and listening ALWAYS. If she’s old enough to hold a cell phone in her stroller, she’s old enough to absorb how mommy reacts in the world. How do you feel about your body? What boundaries do you set to stay in line with what’s important to you?

She learns what’s important from you. She must believe in the power of her choices and take responsibility for them. She can shape her life or let it shape her. It all lies in her choices. If she has experience with the laws of cause and effect, she will have that maturity in her back pocket when she’s faced with peer pressure that seems insurmountable to some, and quite trivial to others. It is vital to limit harmful images and music in her environment.

We have grown complacent in this country regarding what we allow our impressionable children to watch and hear. Even girls pushing 2. Watch Hardware Online Free HD more. Are you really comfortable with what she sees as acceptable ways to treat women in our culture?

Again, you are her biggest influence. If it is unacceptable to you, it will be unacceptable to her.

When she is confronted with the aforementioned harmful images and lyrics, use it as an opportunity for discussion. How does it make her feel? Be honest about how it makes you feel. Reiterate to her that her self- worth does not hang in the balance of her acceptance of these standards in our culture as her own.

We create change in our world one person as a time. Encourage her to get out of her comfort zone, often.

Invite scenarios for your daughter to be assertive, to say NO and to take risks. We have forsaken risk- taking in our girls for the preservation of self- image and they are worse off for it. This is key in helping them set boundaries around social media. If your daughter is comfortable taking risks, she is more likely to understand her life won’t end if she has a night away from her cell phone.

Remind her that her body is powerful. By the very nature of being a woman, she is vulnerable to the manipulations of others.

Teach your daughter the beauty and strength of her body, no matter size or shape. Teach her the sacredness of sex.

She was not put on the planet to be an accessory, or solely for someone else’s pleasure. Teach her about her own. Open communication about her body from a young age will instill confidence in her that will serve her well as she gets older. She will be less inclined to seek outside approval of her selfies if she truly values her own approval.

She is here to experience joy. Poor joy, last on the list. It should be first. But in our world of struggle we forget that Joy is our inherent state. It gets so quickly covered over by the negativity of a culture bent on keeping us small. Remind her to laugh as often as possible. Laughter is a reset button for our nervous system and can help her keep the cosmic joke of social media in perspective.

Remind her to have fun! Once she discovers her joy is the answer to all she’s been searching for, it will be her true north guiding her choices to create the life of her dreams.

The pressures of society will always be there. As women, we face an uphill battle to make choices that align with our core values amidst a culture that hopes we cave to its influence. We owe it to our girls to teach them, often by our own example, that they are worth more than this, they have more to contribute than “likes,” and at the center of their truth is the opinion that matters most—their own.

A desire to build a bridge between today’s science and the magic of a time forgotten has landed Stacey Tucker in the world of fiction writing. She continues to redefine the word “feminine” in America by speaking to women’s groups on cultivating the fire within as a catalyst for self- transformation. She is the author of Ocean’s Fire, book one of the Equal Night Trilogy, which comes out October 2. Find her on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.